<insert a cheesy quote about how time flies>

Hi! Sorry I am late, I know it has been five years but I got caught up with a few things. Well more than a few things, a cross-country move, a new job, many trips (including Israel and Vegas accompanied with a tattoo), new and changing relationships (for better or for worse), two new nieces, a whole lot of ups and downs, hopefully some growth, and oh a global pandemic to name a few. I am sure I missed something, but it will trickle in as we go. 

I sit here, at 32, in a coffee shop in Ashburn, Virginia, trying to find the words to describe how I got from there to here. I look back at my old posts and laugh, cry, and cringe… a lot. I noticed a theme in the writing, it centers around when I felt lost, needed motivation, had to let me feelings out of me, and was trying to make sense of everything going on around me. It is this weird dissonance of feeling like I don’t even recognize that girl to also being right back in the moment with her. I feel so many feelings for her: sadness, that she felt all those feelings and so strongly, and didn’t know what to do or how to see past that point in time; pride, in knowing she made it through and experienced so many new and challenging things along the way; comfort, in knowing that there is a sameness in who she was and who I am and will be; and an eager excitement to keep moving forward and seeing what is in store.

What I know right now is that I missed this. Writing, creatively expressing myself, doing something just for the fun of it, even if there is no tangible gain, and lowkey being brave. It sounds lame to say brave, but lord knows who will end up reading this – it could be no one or it could be anyone, but it seems like a good time to let go of expectations and pre-conceived notions, and try again. I am not sure of what I want to say or how I want to say it, but I am sure that I want to be here and not just on the days when I am feeling sad, confused, lost, or mopey and also not just on the days where I feel exhilarated, elated, and positive, but even on the normal days in-between. 

I will keep it short and sweet for now. Until next time.

xx